On being sick

For the last month (well, two months if I am honest...) I've been running myself into the ground for various reasons, and things have been getting much busier at work as we approached the crescendo of the Model OSCE Project (which is running today and tomorrow). But I have not be compensating by taking care of my physical and nutritional needs (and let's not even talk about emotional...). So, when I awoke on Friday morning, trembling, sweating, I thought, 'here we go. Payback.'

Sure enough: flu. As I careen towards the last two weeks of my internship, and the last four weeks in Serbia, and with no job prospects at all (yet) despite lots of attempts, and with no fixed place to go, or return to, I've been feeling low and mean. The flu, and my swollen tonsils, of which I am reminded every time I swallow, now seem to mirror the general malaises of my mental state. Perhaps it was because of this mental state that I was more susceptible? Or maybe it was just that I ran to long on empty, and thus on Friday, my body said enough.

In any case, I am on the mend, I didn't miss work, and I didn't take any significant drugs beyond aspirin to cure myself. This tells me that the old immune system is still in good shape. And now, as I feel good enough to go out again, I realize another added value of the occasional, non life threatening illness: I recover feeling better than before I got sick. The forced rest and added sleep was time for my mind and body to rebalance. For now, I feel lighter and don't feel so worried about what comes next.

I put my faith in the Dao and stop trying so hard.