Am I too cynical for this?

Written 12 August, 2009

Am I too cynical for this?

The question turned round and round in my head as I listened to the evenings motivational speakers, one of whom will be my mentor for the next three days. I didn’t feel the spirit, I didn’t catch the fever in the room, rather, I often found myself being critical of what I heard. The nationalistic rhetoric was at times brutal, the message often condescending to the communities we will serve, and as my room-mate remarked, some people join cults after hearing motivational speakers.

We were shown pictures of Kennedy and Johnson, of poor blacks and Indians, we heard about how this was good for America, and that we were joining a legacy of people who had given to develop a better society. Finally we ended the video with my man Barak Obama talking about his year of service, and all I could think of was a thick jar of treacle. We then turned to the people at our tables and each rattled off a bullet points of the things that caught our attention. I thought everyone missed the point. They talked about how this was good for America, that they could finally feel like the lived in America... But I don’t know what that means? And I am not sure they do.

The one thing I liked was the idea that poverty is more than just lack of cash, but also the inability to access opportunity, or to even imagine it. I told my table that I thought this is what VISTA was about: helping people see their circumstances, and helping them to figure out how to change that circumstance. It is about sustainability, and we can keep throwing cash at problems, but tomorrow the people will still be hungry. So opportunity, or the ability to be creative and create opportunity is so much more valuable that some bullshit American nationalism. This isn’t about America or any other country; this is about being good to the people around you, about sharing, about giving back.

Only one of the speakers had something interesting to say: if you have questions about service, then don’t do it. i.e don’t waste our time if your not serious, because this will be hard. How do I respond to this. I am cynical, I don’t buy into the corporate mentality they want to socialize me into, I’m not doing this for America, or for my man Barak. I’m doing this for me, and for the community in which I live. I’m doing this because I am sick of hearing racist diatribes about refugees being criminal minded and destroying the fabric of my city, and I’m doing this because I didn’t get a better offer for the year. So should I turn this service down?

No – I don’t think so. I have a different agenda to be sure, and no doubt this different perspective and cynicism will get me into some trouble. However I bring diversity of thought and approach, and thus I facilitate the creative possibilities of the office in which I work. Moreover I will be good at my job, even if I am not doing it for America, or my man.