But I wish the news were better today, not just from the real world, but also from my universe. I woke up, sans geulle de bois, and promptly deleted all the music from Dan in my ITunes, by accident; then two thoroughly depressing emails were waiting in my inbox, leaving me with little inspiration and a big lump in my throat. So I took a long hot shower, had a shave and went for a two hour walk around town. Now, I am drinking Arabic Coffee with cardamon and Miso soup. Already the world is looking a bit happier. But my friends, take it from me, if you are going to send bad news to someone, try to avoid doing it on January 1!
I have given myself a good talking to, following Dylan's advice, and now I am focusing on the sage advice once given to me: all these feelings are part of you and your life; let them wash over you and feel them. These too, shall pass (paraphrased). Looking back over the last few weeks, it is clear that the 'events' affected me more than it should have, and has brought some self-doubt creeping back into my bones. I haven't been spinning like this for a good long while, and it is so uncomfortable. But equally, i am blessed now with experience, and have developed my writing into a vent for personal experience. I know that this too, shall pass.
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The etymology of the word idiot, according to Aleks, comes from the Greek, and means: he or she who does not know. As we were talking about this last night, I thought that if it is true, that it has its origin in Greek, we are misusing the word. Well, I want to argue here that we are. Going back to Socrates and Plato the Greek, I am reminded that it was a virtue to know that one does not know. This is not to suggest that ignorance is bliss, only that with the understanding that all we 'know' is somehow subjective, can we have an open mind. What does it mean to be knowledgeable in a world so full of diversity that after thousands of years of living and seeking, we have yet to truly scratch the surface of the secrets of this universe?
Am I knowledgeable? I know a few things, but after almost 4 years of intensive study, reading, discourse and field experience, I am perpetually surprised by the subject of politics. I know that if I read a book a week for the rest of my life, on this subject, I will not exhaust all the knowledge out there. So, how can I claim to know? Particularly now, at this tender age? I cannot, and because I don't make such claims, I will always be open to more. This is part of the reason dialogue is so important.
In our world today, we seem to have the opposite impression of knowledge. It seems to me, there is an impression that there a few fundamental things to learn, which have an unshakable truth to them, and once you grasp these, then you have power and all that comes with that status. But it is not real, only perceived, and most likely, that knowledge will fail you at some point. If you rely too much on your expertise, you run a real danger of having it all collapse out from under you. But if you remain aware that there is always more to know, that truth and knowledge are never static things, you can always find solutions to a problem.
Plato and Socrates were not the first to suggest this though. We find similar lines in the Dao, where Lao Tzu suggests that knowing that one does not know, is knowing at its best.
Friends: I am an idiot.
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