I wish to write something witty, or profound tonight, but I think it won't happen. Simply, it will be a brief and abstract reflection, utterly inadequate, on the profound experience of nine months back in Europe. 'Back' because Europe is where I spent 22 years of my life, and where I was formed. I am so intimately connected to this part of the world, and I love it because I feel that connection.
Yet, I have chosen, for many reasons, to make the US of A, the place I want to live. Of course, I may be offered a job in some strange place, and I may take the job, but when confronted with the question: where do you want to live? I tend to chose the US of A. This is not to say that I wouldn't want to live in the Italy (which has been a place I have dreamed of living for many years), the Balkans, or China. but when confronted with the reality, and as a dear friend recently said "if I wanted it hard enough, I would make it happen", I always chose the States.
In many ways, it was the return to Europe, after seven years in the US, that has made this clear to me. As I said, there are many place I would go, but the only place I can think of going "just because I want to" is the US of A (at least in the context of living somewhere). This is not meant to be some dedication to the American way, or a pledge of allegiance, because my feelings are not informed, entirely anyway, by patriotic duty, or love of the nation. I'm beyond that. Rather, I am returning to the place where I gained my sense of self; though I may, and will, always feel rather like a foreigner in the US. Maybe it is that 'foreigner' sensation which allows me to feel free in the US?
Qui sait? So fühle ich mich im Moment, aber das kann sich immer Enderen. Das soll auch nicht heißen das ich meine Freunde, Liebhaber, oder Erfahrungen vergessen werde. Sie sind alle ein teil von mir.
Dobro: ciao, tuss, au revoir, prietno, and see you soon.
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