Between messages suggesting I buy a masters degree to strengthen my employability or get some pills to help relax me, my Spam Mail also screamed out at me: If there were only girls around, would you be ready?
Jesus! Would I be? I don't know. I should know though, right? I mean, it could happen that I am in a club one night and there are only women around me. It might happen that on that night I would be the only male who attempts to get into this club! And, my God, I have no idea what I would in that situation. I'm so f'ed!
Seconds later my Spam Mail casually asked Need Pain Killers? Get 'em here! Hmm, I have been feeling a of pain in my knee lately. My back is also often sore after work. Yeah, maybe some pain killers would be a good idea. They might help me relax a bit too, so I can get two birds with one stone... quick, I'll cancel my order for the Happiness medication you offered me last week.
But before I could act, the next question was being asked of me! Hey David, Over 10 million men made their women happy, and you? How did you know of my failings!! Quick order me what ever it is you are offering! I must make her happy.
The message is clear: I am an incomplete human, I am too tense, my Johnson is too small, I'm not employable, I'm unhappy, unable to give women what they want, and my wrist watch is not the latest knock off model. Basically, I'm totally uncool. But I'm glad I know now, I'm so thankful for Spam Mail for telling me this, and for offering me a solution to all my problems
I'm going to be happy at last...
No comments:
Post a Comment