The kid was lying on the ground in a crumpled heap, clutching his stomach. Blood was pouring from his nose and with each drop, my nightmare scenario was being enacted. As the league director, this was now my mess to clean up and avoid a mutiny by the other teams. Along with the kid bleeding on the floor, my ref had also been slugged, although this appeared to be accidental, and he was ok. In misfortune, I had been lucky: lucky it wasn’t worse, lucky the ref hadn’t quit, lucky no-one was arrested, lucky the kid was ok, lucky...
We called the game and told the teams to leave immediately. Get the fuck off the pitch and go the fuck home. But the kid who took the beating was now standing; he had gone for some rocks and was trying to hurl them at the opposing team. Luckily he was being restrained by team mates, but it was enough to have the whole opposition team massed once again, ready to fight... So I did the only thing I could think to do: call 9-1-1 and get the cops to send everyone home. I hated doing it. It was an admission that I was out of my depth, and that I had failed to control the situation myself. Two minuets later, the cops were there and asking who was in charge. That would be me officer... I explained the situation, told them the trouble was over and if they could just encourage people to leave, that would be a help. They did just that, staying for less than 10 minuets.
There were about 20 minuets before the next game, which I did not cancel. So I went and paid the ref (who left with a smile and feeling ok), and spent the remaining time in my car thinking about what had just transpired, and how to deal with it. E came around and gave me a hug, and listened to me for a few minuets, which helped a good deal. Around the time she left, Fitzy showed up. He is a kind man and also the ref for the next game. We sat on the grass at KP, in the shade and talked through the situation. It was calm now and some people were milling around the food stand, a few players for the next game were warming up at the far goal. People should play because they love the game, irrespective of results or ideology; I couldn’t help thinking that was a totally naïve desire. The whole thing had made be really sad.
Fitzy, an accountant by day, calmed my nerves with his jovial smile and his lack of serious concern for what had just transpired. It wasn’t that he didn’t think we needed to take it seriously, but that it wasn’t something that should cause us to consider whether the league should have a future. He loved the league, and had come to know so many of the players, as have I. He didn’t want to see it go away. The league just needs to come down hard on the few that were involved in order to break up the mob mentality of a few of the teams. This I agreed with. The heart break for me was one of the culprits has been a real leader all season, getting involved in addressing the leagues issues and making sure his team was not getting into fights.
After the last game Fitzy asked me if I would remain involved next year. I half lied: yes. Truth is, I don’t know if I will. I don’t know if I want to. I enjoy soccer, no, I love soccer, and there is nothing that can change those feelings. But I also spent a year writing a thesis about how the sport is ultimately a divider, rather than a unifier, and I don’t believe that it will ever unite Portland’s divided communities. So, will I keep giving up every summer weekend for something I don’t believe in and makes me no money? I doubt it. I wonder now, if the league isn’t facilitating conflict rather than resolving it? If that is the case, then we should all walk away now, rather than ferment nationalistic tensions along ethnic lines in this small costal city. If the league is fostering tension, rather than diffusing it, then I want no part of it. Fitzy left with an offer to be involved in the management next year.
Well, the season is coming to an end in 4 weeks, so I will see it through to the conclusion, and then take the winter to see if I want to stay committed or walk away. And it had been such a wonderful day, 75 and sunny...
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